Parenting is supposed to get easier with experience, right? You raise one child, then another, and by the time you get to the next, you’ve got a mental handbook — what works, what doesn’t, what boundaries matter.

 

Except…what happens when that handbook suddenly becomes useless?

 

That’s where I found myself — moving from being the parent of neurotypical children to being the parent of a neurodiverse child. Everything I thought I knew about parenting, discipline, and authority has been turned on its head.

 

The thing that stands out the most for me is boundaries.

In my family, “no” has always meant “no.” When I said, “You’re grounded,” or “No device for two nights,” that was it. There was a sense of respect — an understanding that Mum’s word carried weight.

 

But with my neurodiverse child, none of that counts. Kane doesn’t care about my “place” in the family hierarchy. My authority means nothing in the traditional sense. If I challenge him, he’ll meet me with an even bigger challenge. And as for taking his device away? Let’s just say I’d rather walk onto the M25.

 

So now, I pick my battles. Every day, I’m learning how his mind works — how it ticks, what triggers him, what calms him — and I’m learning to adapt, to meet him where he is, not where I think he should be.

To outsiders, it might look like we’re being soft or inconsistent. But we’re not. We’re navigating an entirely different landscape — one where control doesn’t come from authority, but from understanding.

 

We’re like first-time parents again. Everything we thought we knew no longer applies.

And honestly, that’s okay. Because raising a neurodiverse child isn’t about enforcing the old rules — it’s about adapting the programme.

 

It’s not easier. In my honest opinion, its not just different,  its harder. Even more so when you throw “non verbal” into the mix — but, we’re learning the language one day at a time.